Having lied to Tamar, Judah’s daughter-in-law, concerning giving his youngest son, Shelah, to her for a husband (Genesis 38:11), Judah went about his life without giving her much thought. He sent her to her father’s house to await the wedding, but that union would never occur, if Judah had anything to say about the matter. While Tamar was married to one of Judah’s sons, she fell under his authority, as the leader of the clan. However, since she was no longer married to any of Judah’s sons, she fell under the authority of her father, or, if he wasn’t living, she would live under the authority of the eldest male of her clan. This was probably the manner in which ancient customs dealt with women who were widowed (cp. Ruth 1:8).
For all intents and purposes, however, Tamar was engaged to Shelah, Judah’s youngest son, because Judah told Tamar to remain a widow… until Shelah was grown (Genesis 38:11. At least according to the later Mosaic Law, Tamar should have been treated as Judah’s daughter (Exodus 21:9). Moreover, to break that contract needed a bill of divorcement, before Tamar could marry another (cp. Matthew 1:19). The treachery of Judah’s callousness toward his daughter-in-law is monumental. He was more interested in saving face than he was in Tamar’s future wellbeing.
As time passed, probably about one year, Judah’s wife died. However, after he had mourned for her and was comforted, he and his friend Hirah, the Adullamite (cp. Genesis 38:1) journeyed to Timnath to shear his sheep, and Tamar found out (Genesis 38:12-13).
Apparently, Tamar had already devised a plan to put in place at an opportune time, because, after hearing Judah was nearby, she removed her widow’s cloths and covered her face with a veil and wrapped herself in a manner that implied she was a harlot. Then, she sat in an open area near the path to Timnath, because she realized Judah had lied to her and never intended to give Shelah to her for a husband, for he was already of age, but nothing was done, concerning a wedding (Genesis 38:14). Therefore, she awaited Judah’s return from shearing his sheep, and, when he drew near and saw her, he mistook her for a harlot, because her face was covered (Genesis 38:15).
Given this context, Judah asked, if he could lay with her; Tamar replied, asking what he would give her, if she permitted him (Genesis 38:16). He told her he would give her a lamb from his flock, but Tamar then asked him to leave a pledge with her, until he made good on his promise (Genesis 38:17). She asked for his signet ring, his bracelets and his staff for a pledge, and when he agreed, Judah lay with his daughter-in-law unaware of her identity, and Tamar conceived (Genesis 38:18).
Afterward, Tamar returned to her father’s house, laid aside her veil and put on the garments of her widowhood (Genesis 38:19). However, when Judah sent the lamb with Hirah, his friend, intending it for the harlot and receive back his pledge, Hirah couldn’t find her. Moreover, no one in the community knew of any harlot who sat openly on the way to Timnath (Genesis 38:20-22). So, Judah thought it better to save face rather than seek her out. He decided she was welcome to his pledge, rather than being shamed in a search for her (Genesis 38:23).
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