Smoodock's Blog

Keeping in mind that Jesus says it is the responsibility of the offended party to go to the person who has offended him to tell him his sin (Matthew 18:15), what if the grace that is given the offending party is abused? Must the offended party continually seek reconciliation, regardless of the heart of the offended party? Wouldn’t doing so be, in one sense, an act of encouragement for the offender to keep on injuring his brother? Is there no end to the abuse a believer must allow, in an effort to be reconciled with his insincere brother? For example, how often must a wife forgive her insincere husband, who continually beats her? Wouldn’t her going to him to challenge his conduct be, in itself, a temptation for him to strike her for even mentioning his poor behavior? And, what about her own situation; how often must she place herself in danger by continually forgiving her insincere husband. Is there no end to her responsibility to seek reconciliation, when it seems obvious that he doesn’t wish to change?

These are the kind of questions behind Peter’s going to Jesus to understand how often he must forgive an insincere brother, or someone who seems to be insincere (Matthew 18:21). No doubt, Peter thought it would be magnanimous to forgive such a person seven times, but Jesus replied, “Seventy times seven!” (Matthew 18:22), which in itself, seems to be a ridiculous figure, 490 times! Really? Nevertheless, Jesus’ reply becomes clearer, when we understand that he replied in hyperbole. In other words, the purpose behind Jesus’ math is that it would be insincere on the part of the offended party to count how many times he has forgiven his brother. To forgive is to also “forget” in the sense that one acts as though the offending party never committed an offense in the first place. So, Jesus’ reply isn’t so much a cart blanch offering for the offender to do as he pleases, as it is a correction of Peter’s heart to keep a list of the sins of his brother.

It may be good to pause at this point and consider Peter’s question more closely. For example, what is Peter seeking? Is he seeking perfection in his brother? If so, is Peter overlooking his own tendency to disappoint others and offend them? What might Peter’s heart look like, if we expand it and exaggerate it a bit, in an effort to understand the ultimate outcome of looking for perfection in others, or in ourselves? Perhaps the easiest way to test the truth of an idea like this one is to apply it to a leader we know, someone in the public eye, whether religious or political.

Let’s begin by expecting perfection from one of our favorite religious leaders. If to err is human, and if no one was ever permitted to offend, then expecting perfection, which Peter does, beyond the seventh offense, tempts the object of our concern to lie and deceive. If a person cannot be forgiven, once he has gone over a preconceived limit, wouldn’t he, perhaps, lie or be tempted to do so to cover his tracks? What if he attempts to address something controversial, and it blows up in his face. Shouldn’t grace be offered? Doesn’t the ultimate outcome of our expecting perfection from our leaders attract leaders with poor character? Ones who lie and/or cannot admit error?

Isn’t the political scene just as muddy as the religious one, just mentioned? Who will be the first politician to face down the media that questions the failure of one of his promises or official acts? Who will be the first political leader to admit publicly that he made a mistake? That would definitely be poor PR in today’s environment and signal a change in political leadership in the next election. After all, we need perfection! Don’t we? Yet, mistakes are made, whether or not they are publicly admitted.

Character, good character, isn’t perfect. Good character errs and admits its mistakes. The good person isn’t one who continually makes the same error, time after time, but he does admit to the wrongs he commits, whether moral or otherwise. It takes courage to face one’s weaknesses or errors, whether privately or publicly, after they are discovered by others, and then to make an effort to change. Religious folks preach repentance, but less often take steps to woo the offending party to repent, or if the steps are taken, to forgive without keeping lists of their brethren’s errors/sins (Matthew 18:21)!